To build tenacity, willpower, and mental strength, remind yourself of these two words.
Do I really have to go?
That’s the question that kept racing through my mind. It was 2022, and two years of pandemic life had suited an introvert like me. While others were struggling with limited social contact, I was thriving.
But, as in-person meetings and networking events started up again, I was torn. Sure, there would be some benefits to meeting in person. It’s just, I was so … comfortable.
Would pushing myself really be worth the effort?
It definitely was. I can still clearly remember my first meeting back, and thinking to myself: There’s no replacement for being with others in person.
Nowadays, when I have similar struggles–that is, the temptation to resist pushing myself and to stay in my comfort zone–I remind myself of a simple, two-word phrase:
Seek discomfort.
How can this phrase help you build a habit of continuous growth? To answer that question, let’s examine the history of the phrase “seek discomfort.” Then, we’ll analyze the science behind motivation and willpower and see how this phrase draws on that research, and how it can prove to be a valuable tool for building willpower and mental strength. (If you find value in this lesson, you might be interested in my free course, which teaches you how to build emotional intelligence in yourself and your team.)
“Seek discomfort”
I learned the phrase “seek discomfort” from media company Yes Theory, which I’ve followed for years. Yes Theory, which began as a YouTube channel founded by Thomas Brag, Ammar Kandil, and Matt Dahlia, gained popularity for spreading a message of personal growth gained through challenging experiences.
“‘Seek discomfort’–those two words had changed the course of our lives,” writes Dahlia. “We realized, in … pushing ourselves beyond our limits, that life’s most beautiful moments and meaningful connections exist outside our comfort zones.”
Yes Theory may have popularized the phrase, but the concept of seeking discomfort to promote personal growth is backed by neuroscience.
Close the loop
In a recent episode of the Huberman Lab podcast, Andrew Huberman, associate professor of neurobiology at the Stanford School of Medicine, details extensive research on the topic of willpower and tenacity, and how persons can develop those qualities.
When a person chooses to perform tasks they would rather not do in a given moment, explains Huberman, research shows they activate a part of the brain known as the anterior mid-cingulate cortex (AMCC). And when they make a practice of this–when they, in effect, seek discomfort–they’re reinforcing the very circuits that give rise to tenacity and willpower.
“This is what in engineering terms is referred to as a closed loop,” explains Huberman. “You do ‘A,’ which leads to ‘B,’ which leads to ‘C,’ which feeds back onto ‘A’ and makes ‘A’ that much more likely to occur. It’s like turning the little ‘a’ into a capital ‘A’ and then turning it into a bold-face capital, underlined ‘A.'”
So, “while it’s our ability to engage the AMCC that allows us to express tenacity and willpower,” Huberman continues, “in this closed loop fashion, it’s our ability to express tenacity and willpower that then feeds back onto that circuit and makes it more robust and more likely to be accessible in the future when we encounter something that we don’t want to do or that we have to resist very strongly.”
Ayelet Fishbach, professor of behavioral science and marketing at the University of Chicago, Booth School of Business, shared further thoughts that support this in an article for Behavioral Scientist.
“Our research suggests that seeing discomfort as a sign of progress and actually seeking it out can boost your motivation. While a sharp physical pain is often a good reason to quit what you’re doing, a moderate muscle ache is a signal you’re getting in shape,” writes Fishbach.
“Likewise, moderate emotional discomfort is a signal that you’re developing as a person, and it often happens before you can detect the benefits of self-growth,” she continues.
That’s exactly what happened when I decided to join that first in-person event. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone delivered a host of benefits. But it also went further; it contributed to building my own tenacity and willpower. This made it easier to do “the hard thing” the next time, which then keeps the closed loop going.
And the more I seek discomfort, the more comfortable I get being uncomfortable. All of this helps make me more flexible and adaptable, qualities that aren’t typical strengths of mine.
For you, seeking discomfort may look completely different.
For you, seeking discomfort could include:
- Getting further education or training
- Traveling somewhere new
- Meeting new people
- Learning a language or to play an instrument
- Expanding your company
- Having a difficult conversation at work
Remember, when you attempt to do these things, you’re building mental strength. You’re stimulating your anterior mid-cingulate cortex, and putting in the reps, so to speak. All of this will help you build mental strength, making you more flexible and adaptable to change.
So, whether you’re more introverted or extroverted, agreeable or disagreeable, open to experience or not, remind yourself that once in a while, you must push yourself to try things you normally wouldn’t.
You have to seek discomfort.
Because, while it’s the familiar things that allow us to recharge, it’s the uncomfortable things that help us grow.
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Guest Author: JUSTIN BARISO
Seeking to build and grow your brand using the force of consumer insight, strategic foresight, creative disruption and technology prowess? Talk to us at +971 50 6254340 or engage@groupisd.com or visit www.groupisd.com/story
